William at 9 weeks old/37 weeks adjusted age

Look - No Nasal Cannula! (Just for a few minutes)

Deep in thought while sleeping...such a smart baby

Sucking on his thumb

Well it is officially time for William to start acting like a big boy. At 37 weeks he is considered term and no longer premature. Now if only William would get that memo....

This was one of those weekends when I have felt like I may never see the day that William comes home, particularly yesterday. William's nasty reflux keeps acting up and causing him to have desatting episodes (when the oxygen saturation level in his bloodstream dips below 85 percent) and sometimes bradycardias again. We have been told several times that feeding is really the only issue keeping him in the hospital so we are even more anxious for him to get squared away with it. I think William knows we are anxious for him to come home so he already wants to act against us in rebellion of our wishes... Maybe this is giving us an indicator of how his teenage years will go.

In terms of his feeding, William is now being fed 63 milliliters over one hour with a two hour break. His feeds are still all through his feeding tube. Last week he took some minimal amounts from bottles, but he needs to start downing those like a champ without desatting to come home. Here's hoping something clicks in his brain soon.

Weight and length wise he has outgrown every preemie outfit of his - 6 pounds, 8 ounces and 18.11 inches. My once little 2 pound baby now has fat rolls!

Since William's real age is two months old (at some point I may be able to merge his "actual" age with his "adjusted age"), he received his two month immunizations this past week. Unfortunately that happened on a day both Rob and I were at work so the little guy had to cry without mom and dad there to soothe him. I am sure his cries were not quiet as he is growing quite the set of lungs!

Right now what I feel most as we approach William's original due date is fear. I am afraid simultaneously that William will not be well enough to come home by then and that if he does come home I will not be prepared to care for him and his special needs. It is odd to feel both relieved and worried that he is still in the hospital (of course maybe it isn't for parents of NICU babies). One thing I do know is that Rob and I both are extremely tired (so tired that sometimes I don't even know how I am standing), but we are looking forward to being a whole different kind of tired when William does come...

-Lori